I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize