you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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