I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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