Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
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i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
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I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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