Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
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I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize