you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize