i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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