Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize