I got chris browned last night
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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