I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize