In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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