What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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