3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize