grandma shit on top of the toilet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize