I accidentally had phone sex last night
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
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It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
A+ Viking dick
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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