My friends, they love my intelligence
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize