we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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