how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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