I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize