i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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