I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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