So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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