Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it's like heaven, but drunker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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