Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm always down for nudity.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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