Do you still have your period?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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