I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize