Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
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Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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