Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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