We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We talked him into tasing himself.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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