I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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