I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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