if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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