Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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