Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
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Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
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I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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