That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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