roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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