I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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