and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize