Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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