No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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