My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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