I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I am spending my child support on dildos
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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