just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize