well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize