I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize