I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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