Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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