Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
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He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
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You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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