I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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