if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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